for the love of mayonnaise a blog about sandwiches.

Hello world. It’s been awhile since my last post but rest assured no one noticed. I haven’t a sandwich to give you today, my apologies. But don’t worry, Thursday you will be saved from your mundane macaroni and cheese, your terribly time consuming baba ghanoush, and all those other recipes that require more than 7 ingredients when I introduce one of my all time favorites.

In the meantime, I have found that human beings by nature share an unhealthy interest in monotonous, goings on of everyday life…of everyone else’s everyday life and are addicted to things like what kind of toilet paper Bette Midler uses and whether or not Octomom has decided to write a cookbook. But we also love the lives of our fellow friends and ‘normal’ people which is why things like Facebook and reality TV are so disturbingly popular. So I will begin this week with a self absorbed post of my own in an effort to get people to eat the sandwiches I have yet to write about.

Give ‘em what they want. And then give ‘em what they don’t know they want. Sandwiches. So here goes.

This is my child. He just recently figured out how to climb up on the couch. I am officially fearing future milestones. The End.

No? Didn’t get your fix? Need more?

Okay. This is my child. His first word was “help.” It’s a true story. He got sandwiched in between my husband and myself one morning in our bed and in an effort to get unstuck he yelled help. Literally. Well, he didn’t really yell it. He kind of just said it. Which made it funnier at the time. And I do realize he was not in control of his verbal devices at this age. He was 10 months old and while I’d like to not think he knew what he was saying, we still claim that it was in fact his first word. Mainly because it was not accompanied by all the other babble a 10 month old is typically displaying in times of…well anytime really.

At this same point in time he knew how to turn off the Playstation, eject his Sesame Street dvd and proceed to encourage the break through of new teeth on said dvd.

He never throws his food on the floor. Always puts his toys away. Rarely throws fits when he doesn’t get what he wants and is in bed sharp every night at 7 o’clock. And he NEVER eats stink bugs. Not really. Any of that.

Alright, well I must go make dinner. No I’m not going to tell you what I am going to make. Most likely because it involves the words ‘frozen,’ ‘breaded’ and ‘microwave.’ That’s disgraceful on a food blog. Tootles.